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Bullet Reviews #138


So, Wednesday. New Comic Book Day and Bullet Reviews #138! This week we look at Amazing Spider-Man #700.2 and explain why the story seemed so… ‘off’, then we move on to Amazing Spider-Man #700.3, Clown Fatale #1, Dead Body Road #1, and Wolverine #14

AMAZING SPIDER-MAN #700.2 (Marvel)Amazing Spider-Man #700.2
Continuing, and concluding, the Frost story which does little more than rehash some classic Spider-Man stuff: City in trouble, Aunt May on the verge of death and both are on the opposite ends of town. What’s a Web-Slinger to do? Well, if you know the routine then you know what’s happening here.
Writer David Morrell said on his Facebook page saying the story was changed by Marvel. At first it seemed as if Marvel just changed it because they wanted to. This appears to not be the case as Morrell posted the following recently on Facebook:
It was an error in which someone in the production department pushed the wrong button and the uncorrected version was published. I’m concerned about the harsh comments I’ve seen on internet comic-book forums, directed at editors who don’t deserve to be treated harshly. My relationship with the Marvel editors is strong enough that I even sent the staff a holiday gift. Yes, I’m disappointed that the released version of part two isn’t as error free as I wanted, but I should have waited a day while my disappointment cooled before I let readers know about the problem. Understatement is always better.
I like that he clarified his comments and that the fact that this story was something of a mess wasn’t because of the way I read it or the way he wrote it but rather because of a simple error. Now, having said all that, the saving grace in this was the ending. While in some ways I’m tired of the Uncle Ben character being used too much it never fails to tug at the heart-strings.
Morrell has also said that Marvel will correct their error when these Point Issues are collected in the upcoming trade. This is good and I do plan to grab it so I can read these first two the way he intended them to be read. -Skott Jimenez

Amazing Spider-Man #700.3AMAZING SPIDER-MAN #700.3 (Marvel)
Also out this week is #700.3 featuring an all-new story starring the original Web-Slinger, Peter Parker! The story starts with Spidey fighting Firebrand, a character I’m not too familiar with, and it ends badly… for both of them. Firebrand is beaten but Peter is horribly burned. They are soon picked up by a black ambulance before emergency workers arrive.
Peter wakes up, bandaged, in what looks like a run-down hospital. What he discovers is the answer to the age-old question of what happens to the villains after the heroes pound them to paste. They get care from someone called the Surgeon General who helps them heal and get back on their feet. I like this idea and think it’s fair, after all, Night Nurse takes care of the heroes. I hope this character plays into some upcoming stories.
Another thing that’s touched upon that is rarely focused on is Peter’s healing abilities. While not on the level of Deadpool he still heals fairly fast and it’s just enough time for him to realize where he’s at. As well as witnessing the upgrade of one of his lower class villains.
This story was a lot of fun and as I said before I hope they expand on this concept. -Skott Jimenez

CLOWN FATALE #1 (Dark Horse Comics)Clown Fatale #1
I love a good case of mistaken identity. So you’ve got these four female circus clowns who are part of a traveling show, they’re kinda white trashy down on their luck types, they come from abusive backgrounds which lead to them fleeing to the circus, but now the ringmaster guy in charge is running another dominating game on them. So they’ve basically traded one abuser for another. One night while drowning their sorrows, a man approaches them with “ a job” from a crime boss. He needs some killing done, and he wants out-of-town talent on it. A traveling circus might in theory actually make a great cover story for a criminal outfit, but it’s the Russian knife throwers who are the assassins, not the clowns. These girls, having nothing much else to lose really, eventually end up playing along, pass their first test, and end up taking the job. Of course they have no actual training, and everything gets done in the most explosive, out of control way possible. This team is a filthy hot mess, and the more things they have to contend with, including the knife throwers team not liking someone else on their turf taking their jobs, the more just absolutely out of control things get. This book has hanging out butt cheeks, clown nipples, circus animals and blood – it’s just a constant disaster. It also has a character who’s the “cloudcuckoolander”, or “the Ophelia”, the cute little crazy chick who always seems borderline insane or spouting nonsense, and they combine it with making her an action chick, which the other characters in the comic would never suspect. Think like River from Serenity, I love characters like that. I’d recommend Clown Fatale #2, mostly for the grind house exploitation vibe. -Scorpio Moon

Dead Body Road #1DEAD BODY ROAD #1 (Skybound)
Calling all fans of crime comics, if you’re the type that sometimes likes to leave the costumes at home, and just needs a badass with a big gun and a simple motive like revenge, here ya go! I do love a good revenge story. I found it a bit predictable, but that didn’t really make it any less satisfying. That dead cop was a great motivation, and I don’t even mean just for the main character I mean for the audience. That look of terror and shock on her dead body, you really get the feeling that she died horribly. I mean no she’s not all mutilated and stuff, but it’s a real ghastly expression that drives home the emotion of the moment. It’s pretty straightforward, but you have a lot of parties at play – the crooks who robbed the bank, the guy they work for, the bad guys that they robbed, the guy who’s wife was killed, and of course the police, so I guess the question is can they keep this streamlined storytelling up or will it fall and collapse under it’s own weight before they all come crashing together? Either way, Dead Body Road #1 was a nice start. -Scorpio Moon

WOLVERINE #12 (Marvel)Wolverine #12
The first page is pretty great actually, for just those little moments. Wolverine changing his accent to sound less posh and more like his poor ass girlfriend Rose, or what unspoken signals the Patch identity conveyed. These are of course just memories, snap back to reality and Wolverine is getting the shit kicked out of him, barely even putting up a fight. So once again, if you like suffering Logan, here you go. And they are really getting really ridiculous trying to find Hand anatomy to represent now, what was wrong with just the first five ninjas? He can’t beat them anyway? Getting into the muscle and the sinew? Come on, I think the hangnail is next. Theyre trying to do the “break his spirit” first thing, which is why killable has to be so long I guess, and as each attack weakens him more and more he becomes the scared, backed into a corner animal, mauling a ninja who supposedly surrendered and then slashing at a rent a cop who stuck his finger in his face, even though it was actually Mystique. I guess they’re trying to say he’ll kill innocents, and for some reason he’s stupid enough to believe it when he’s down like this. I mean sure tons of innocent people have died around him, or inadvertently, but he doesn’t usually slaughter people way below his moral pay grade unless it’s in Wolverine Max or something. Sabertooth finally shows up for our cliffhanger, the invaders finally actually attack shield, and that about sums it up. I guess it takes this many issues to break Wolverine down to this point, but I’m not feeling any of the emotional weight this arc should have. I just hope that like with most Marvel X events, the fall out and the consequences of “Killable” end up far surpassing the event itself. -Scorpio Moon

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