Pro wrestling is still real to us right? Here is a kayfabe analysis of the upcoming Royal Rumble Pay Per View card.
The New Day vs. Cesaro, Tyson Kidd, and Adam Rose
Tale of the Tape
| The New Day | Cesaro, Kidd, and Rose | |
| 5’11 | Average Height | 6’1’’ |
| 707 lbs | Combined Weight | 647 lbs |
| Experience | x | |
| 29.66 | Average Age | 34.33 |
The New Day has had a lot of success recently over Cesaro, Kidd, and Rose. In the four televised matches between the various combinations of the two teams The New Day has come out with a win every time. The tale of the tape tells comes out very even. Big E represents the size differential in an otherwise dead even size comparison. Cesaro, Kidd, and Rose have a decided experience advantage that may come into play. It’s almost a pick ’em as far as who is going to come out on top on paper. The New Day is coming in with all the momentum which is why I think they have the advantage.
My Pick: The New Day
Paige and Natalya vs. The Bella Twins
Tale of the Tape
| Paige and Natalya | The Bella Twins | |
| 5’6.5’’ | Average Height | 5’6 |
| 255 lbs | Combined Weight | 250 lbs |
| X | Experience | |
| 27 | Average Age | 31 |
Everyone involved in this match have traded victories with one another. It’s really tough to call who has the momentum going into this match. Even though this is not a championship match, Nikki being the Diva’s champion does add a little to their team. Paige and Natalya have wrestling in their DNA. Both come from wrestling families and have a large experience advantage over the Bellas. It’s going to come down to the technical prowess of Paige and Natalya vs. the chemistry of the Bellas. Will we see some “Twin Magic” I don’t think so.
My Pick: Paige and Natalya
The New Age Outlaws vs. The Ascension
Tale of the Tape
| The New Age Outlaws | The Ascension | |
| 6’2’’ | Average Height | 6’3 |
| 501 lbs | Combined Weight | 487 lbs |
| X | Experience | |
| 48 | Average Age | 34 |
While not quite a traditional young team trying to take the torch from the old guard we see a hot new team The Ascension vs the newly reintroduced New Age Outlaws. The Ascension haven’t seen the stiffest competition since their debut in WWE, but you have to remember how dominant they were in NXT. You would think The Ascension would run over the Outlaws with youth and momentum on their side, but you can’t write the Outlaws off. One year ago they won the tag team titles at the Royal Rumble. The Ascension has too much going for them right now.
My Pick: The Ascension
WWE Tag Team Championship Match
The Usos (Champions) vs. The Miz and Damien Mizdow
Tale of the Tape
| The Usos | Miz and Mizdow | |
| 6’2.5’’ | Average Height | 6’3’’ |
| 479 lb | Combined Weight | 468 lbs |
| Push | Experience | Push |
| 29 | Average Age | 33 |
The Usos defend the WWE Tag team Championship aginast familiar foe Miz and Mizdow. The Usos have been on an absolute roll since becoming the number one contenders for the titles on December 1st. They beat Miz and Mizdow for the titles and have scored a few victories over them lately. Momentum is definitely on their side. Miz and Mizdow have more indivual experience but you can’t discredit all the years of experince as a team that the Usos have, so experince is a push in my book. Miz and Mizdow were seemingly a perfect match a couple months ago but they seem to slowly be unraveling. You can never really count on the antics of Mizdow, his “stunt double” job sometimes gets in the way of his wrestling job. He seems to be noticing that the crowd thinks that he is the real star of the team. Will the Royal Rumble be the night he has enough of the Miz? Maybe, but even if it isn’t the Usos have too much going for them.
My Pick: The Usos
WWE World Heavyweight Championship Match
Brock Lesnar vs. John Cena vs. Seath Rollins
Tale of the Tape
| Lesnar | Cena | Rollins | |
| Height | 6’3’’ | 6’1’’ | 6’1’’ |
| Weight | 286 lbs | 251 lbs | 217 lbs |
| Experience | 14 years | 14 years | 11 years |
| Age | 37 | 37 | 28 |
Can anyone beat Brock? He looks like he is in top form again. You would think ring rust would start to show on him with his very limited schedule, but he has proven that he doesn’t need to wrestle often to be in the place he needs to be to dominate. He has the size and power advantage in this match. He has the mat wrestling advantage, being a former NCAA champion, and he has an edge in striking as well, being a former UFC champion. There are really no holes in his wrestling at all. If you were to assemble the perfect wrestler it is probably going to look a lot like Brock.
That being said you can never count John Cena out. He seems to be able to pull off the impossible when the “Cenation” wills him on. He has the most WWE experience in this match and knows how to win a world title; he has done it fifteen times. His style might not be the most technically sound or the prettiest, but it is very effective. He is a capable mat wrestler when he needs to be and is a great brawler. It’s going to be hard to brawl with Brock, but it’s really his only shot. Brock is too good on the mat.
Seth Rollins appears to be out of place in this match. The forty pound weight disadvantage he has against Cena is hard to deal with, then add the almost seventy pounds that Brock has on him and he’s already giving up a lot from the start. His last real big win came against Dean Ambrose at Hell in a Cell back in October. There is something about Seth Rollins though. He seems like he could put it all together and start being a huge factor at any moment. Combine that with the fact that The Authority will interject when needed in his matches and he might have a chance.
Triple Threats are really hard to call. The normal Championship advantage doesn’t apply. The title could change hands with out Brock being involved in the decision. However, I think Brock is too big, too strong, too complete of a wrestler, and has too much killer instinct to be beat. The “Road to Wrestlemania” begins here and Brock is going to head down it as champ.
My Pick: Brock Lesnar
Royal Rumble Match
If there is one thing harder to call than a triple threat it’s the Royal Rumble. Conventional wisdom would say it all depends on size and the number you enter. Years passed has proved this wrong. We also only have seventeen announced participants in the match. I’ll break up theses seventeen into three categories
No Chance At Winning
Goldust, Stardust, The Miz, Damien Mizdow, R-Truth, and Fandango
Outside Chance At Winning
Bad News Barrett, Kane, Rusev, Ryback, and Dolph Ziggler
Legitimate Chance At Winning
Dean Ambrose, Roman Reigns, Daniel Bryan, Bray Wyatt, Big Show, Luke Harper
You have to put Big Show in every year just because it’s hard to throw him out. If he draws a good number and there aren’t enough people to team up on him he could make it look easy. Ambrose is a real wildcard. He is very good in a chaotic environment and the Royal Rumble is just that. Bray and Harper both have great size and athleticism, and old family ties could lead to them taking this match over. Roman Reigns put in what I think was the greatest non-winning Rumble performance of all time last year. He has proven he is great in this match and has the perfect mix of size and athleticism to win. Than we have Daniel Bryan. At 210 lbs he isn’t hard for any person in this match to toss out. He is coming off a long layoff things don’t look to be in his favor. But, he always comes through. He probably shouldn’t have beaten Triple H at Wrestlemania and he definitely should have beaten Randy Orton and Batista on the same night, but he did. Everything points to Reigns taking thing match. However, barring any thing crazy like a surprise entrant (Randy Orton) or a bad draw I’m picking Bryan.
My Pick: Daniel Bryan
