Catwoman decided to throw out everything that made the character sexy and cool and replace it with clichés that don’t belong in the movie and stereotypes that are beyond unbelievable. Halle Berry plays Patience, who is an ad designer, or something. She is also a clumsy, unattractive mess, who works way too hard. When she becomes Catwoman, suddenly she knows how to walk without bumping into everyone around her, and is always in “seduction” mode. Even when she is drinking milk from a saucer. In a movie filled with terrible moments, you might think it would be hard to find the single moment that is the most cringe worthy, but you’d be wrong. Patience is attracted to the Jimmy Smits knock off, and to show how they playfully flirt with each other, the director treats us to a painfully awkward basketball game. A group of kids cheer them on as they, I guess, grind against each other, which I’m not sure is in the rule book.
Dialogue is important in film, it not only is the fastest way to get the plot across to the general audience, but you know, it lets us know the characters aren’t morons. When you are in the fourth installment of a crappy, straight to DVD franchise however, nothing in the production seems important. Crow: Wicked Prayer, is the fourth and easily the worst of the Crow series. In a film with Edward Furlong playing the hero and Tara Reid playing a sniper/lover to the devil (who is in turn played by David Boreanaz), you have to dig real deep to find a moment that is worse than all of that combined.
It succeeded.
Dennis Hopper’s brief role in the film feels like he got busted smuggling knock off toys from Mexico and is now being forced to perform community service. The punishment fits the crime, I guess, as he spouts off some of the worst lines I have ever heard. My ears bleed with each word. Here is a sampling of some of the lines that Hopper spouts out”
Don’t undercut me shorty, you stole the keys to Daddy’s car but you can’t handle the horsepower.
What’s it gonna be, homie? You want to be Satan or what?
I now pronounce you Devil and his shorty
Is it really you, Original Gangster?
Yeah that is Grade A acting there. You know he was nominated for an Oscar, right?
*Warning NSFW clip*
The Batcard had to be number one! There was no other choice. Great list!
Number one is spot on. Everything in that movie is terrible. Bat skates anyone?
I could have done a top ten just off of Batman And Robin.
lol this list is quite comical. *whips out the Batcard* BAMM!!!
Now all I need are polar bear slippers and my life would be complete.
This whole concept is absolutely brilliant. I look forward to round two of this. I have never seen that deleted scene before that was freaking insane! Why would anyone think that would be good to put in a movie!? Also I have never seen Catwoman so that basketball game is so uncomfortable- well I had to turn it off half way through. Can't wait for more!
There is a round two coming!? I think I just soiled myself.
Oh I already have plans for the next installment, needless to say, Batman and Robin, and Catwoman will make another appearance.
Fantastic. I'm thinking Ghost Rider can't make it out unscathed.
I would almost dare you to try and sit through Catwoman, but there really isn't anything "fun" about watching that movie. I never though I'd see a movie worse than Batman and Robin until I saw Catwoman.
Wow. Just….. wow. Great list. I could see some moments from the Dolph Lundgren Punisher, some more Crow scenes, the incredibly uncomfortable sex session from History of Violence (and that is one of my favorite flicks) making a second list. Also, if Catwiman were a person and not a film, I'd feed it to a stable of hogs.
I don't care who ya are, the Dance scene in the second Turtles film is always awesome to watch.
You really can't measure how bad Catwoman is from that clip alone. I mean it's bad, awful even, but that clip doesn't do it the right amount of justice. By justice I mean stupidity.