The Good, The Bad and The Ugly Truth
The plot: In an attempt to win the heart of her handsome neighbor, Katherine Heigl journeys out into the desert of the untamed American West in search of a treasure buried in a cemetery. While she knows which cemetery to investigate, Gerard Butler knows whose grave in which the treasure is buried, and the two trade sexist insults back and forth at one another as they try to not get shot by Lee Van Cleef or Eli Wallach, both of whom are also looking for the treasure. Fortunately, Clint Eastwood is always there to save their lives whenever they find themselves in a sticky situation.
Enjoy Ennio Morricone’s brilliant score and Sergio Leone’s creative direction while simultaneously getting annoyed by Katherine Heigl’s failed attempt at making humor after complaining about Knocked Up being too sexist yet somehow sets the bar even lower by acting like a shrew and having Gerard Butler behave like chauvinistic pig without any redeeming qualities other than his appearance.
A Nightmare on Elm Street Fighter
The plot: As M. Bison (Raul Julia) tries to take over the world…
…it’s up to Col. Guile (Jean-Claude Van Damme) and his team to strike back. What none of them counted on was that the ghost of Freddy Krueger (Robert Englund) has returned to haunt and murder them in their nightmares and send a clear message of who’s really the most powerful. How long can they stay awake? And should they meet Freddy in their sleep, will any of them be able to defeat him in hand-to-hand combat?
Prepare to be terrified by Wes Craven’s story of a deathly force from beyond the grave as well as by Englund’s ghastly portrayal. Also prepare to laugh uncontrollably at Van Damme’s attempts to deliver a single line coherently and somehow in a more cartoon-like fashion than Freddy. Try to not feel too cry when watching a well-respected actor like Julia play a terrible role while slowly dying. If this movie depresses you, go watch him in better films like Kiss of the Spider Woman, Presumed Innocent, or either of the first two Addams Family movies.
One Fine Day of the Dead
The plot: Michelle Pfeiffer and George Clooney star as two single parents whose paths keep crossing after they’re both late to get each of their children to school. With so much to do on this busy day in New York, they end up taking turns watching the kids while the other goes to take care of whatever business needs doing. As if that weren’t enough trouble already, New York has also become overrun with the walking dead, and if they aren’t careful, they could be eaten or worse: zombified!
Watch in awe as two smart, attractive, go-getter single parents evade the clutches of cannibalistic zombies as the remnants of the American military and government staff work towards finding a solution to the zombie problem. The film is a bit of a mixed bag with first-world problems and harmless humor next to extreme violence and profanity. Parental guidance is advised.