Llamas are everywhere. They have really become cultural icons of the advancement of society. Every time you see a llama, you can’t help but say, “Aww, a llama!”
Movies like Disney’s The Emperor’s New Groove have helped to catapult llamas to the pop culture forefront where they deserve to shine in all their llama-y glory. Comic Booked brings you a list of the top 10 comic books that should include, or be completely staffed, by llama superheroes. Truly, this is the highest form of journalism and I hope that you enjoy this list as much as I enjoyed petting… I mean, putting it together.
1 – Bat-Llama: A young llama loses his parents outside of a the barn at the county fair. The culprit is not found, but feathers at the scene point to “fowl” play. As the llama sits alone in the dark one night, he looks up and sees a bat roosting in the rafters and vows to use that as a symbol, becoming one with the darkness, and spitting in the face of criminals everywhere. He is Bat-Llama.
2 – Llamavengers: A group of llamas, called together from around the globe, commit their considerable powers to fighting the forces of evil as a new team. Sounds smelly.
3 – Hellama: Born as a cross between a goat and a llama, and harnessing the forces of the Ancient Gods in his Right Cloven Hoof of Doom, Hellama loves pamcakes and fights supernatural foes as a part of the B.P.R.D.L., Bureau of Paranormal Research and Development for Llamas. Oh, crap!
4 – Captain Marvellama: This title can actually be multi-purpose. In the DC comics universe, a young llama named Billy Llamason is found by Merllama and given the power of Shazllama! All he has to do is spit… since llamas don’t talk, that would be silly, and he becomes a hero to fight for good and order. In the Marvel universe, Captain Marv-LL was a general in the Llama army. The Llama and the Swine Empire are always at war. Or, Ms. Marvellama has super llama powers and can fly and stuff. Oh, and she could be a cama, half llama half camel so we get some multiculturalism in there.
5 – Superllama: From the planet Kryptllama, the last son of house of LL (get it, because llama has two “LL”s and Jor-El… ok, anyway) is jettisoned into space as his planet is destroyed. Probably because his race spits too much or something. Landing on Earth, the rays of the yellow sun provide him with extraordinary llama-powers, like the ability to fly and extend his neck a long way. Now he fights for truth, justice, and the llama way of life.
6 – Llamatastic Four: A group of four college friends, I mean, llamas, are sent into outer space, since they are animals and evil large corporations want to test things on them. While in space, the llamas are bombarded with cosmic rays that would kill any normal animal, but based on the materials the ship was made of, some strange grass they had all eaten a day or so earlier, and the unusual flatulence of the llama named Ben, the rays changed the very genetic makeup of these young llamas imbuing them with special powers. Now they fight evil and do science as the Llamatastic Four, a family of super-llamas for a golden age.
7 – Green Llama: A llama finds a dying alien out in the South pasture that gives it a strange green ring with the power to manifest willpower into reality. The first question you would ask is how could a llama wear a ring, but remember, there is a Green Lantern that is a planet. Your arguement is invalid.
8 – The Incredillama Hulk: Gamma irradiated llama feed is shipped to a local farm and fed to one of the llamas who has a bit of a temper problem. Now, you won’t like him when he is angry. Big, green, and hairy, that can only be the Incredillama Hulk.
9 – Watchllama: Llama with the powers to save or destroy the Earth were asked to unmask by the government that feared them. Now, someone is killing them. Who could it be? Watch as the Comedillama falls to his death kicking off a strange string of events that spans two planets with the fate of mankind hanging in the balance.
10 – Spider-Llama: Yes, while mindlessly wandering through a science lab, a llama was bitten by a radioactive spider that had also been genetically modified to combine the traits of 4 million different species of spider (are there even that many?). The result? This llama now has the powers of a spider; spider-strength, the ability to climb walls, a sixth sense signalling danger, and the ability to shoot webs from his butt. Yeah, that last one can be pretty gross. Now, Spider-Llama swings through the city catching criminals and stopping to get an occasional nibble in Central Park. What’s that? The villains are on the rise? Look out, here comes the Rhino-Llama, Llamalectro, and Doctor Octo-Llama. You know you want to read it.
Thanks for checking out my tribute to comics that should contain llamas. These amazing animals definitely need more coverage in the comic book industry. Be sure to tweet this article to all your favorite creators and comic book industry folks, especially Dan Didio, I hear they are just running out of ideas over there at DC and just seem to be repeating things that were done about 30 years ago. So, look here Dan… LLAMAS!